Appreciated for Granted

I have a teenage son whom I love with all my heart. He is overall a wonderful human being and I truly could not be more proud of him. We get along so well that sometimes when we are out and about in the world, people actually think we are a couple! (Cool for me-not so cool for him!)

Of course, we are mother and son and therefore fight like mother and son from time to time. As much as we get along, it is my job as his mom to enforce rules and morals within him and help him grow into the best adult he is capable of being. As a teenager, it is his job to challenge me in that department from time to time and act like the status quo. One of our, infrequent but recurring, issues is that of entitlement and appreciation.

I tend to be an extremely giving person to those whom I love and value. I can even go beyond what maybe I should do for others and overextend myself from time to time. I know a lot of women (and some men) who also do this frequently. I am a nurturer and enjoy taking care of those around me. Honestly, I do not mind doing all the many things I do for my family or my friends. I am happy to do whatever I can for others and feel fortunate to be able to be a blessing with whatever I have to give. I do not do anything for glory or thanks, or to be a martyr. That being said, when others start to expect or take for granted the many things we do for them, the need for appreciation becomes enhanced and martyrdom is an easy trap to fall into.

For example; my son is 16 years old. The age of social development trumping almost every other facet of life. I often worry that his cell phone has become one with his hand and that his fingerprints have likely worn off from the excessive amount of texting that occurs around the clock. He is so involved in his world that at times he will make many plans for himself and come home to "tell" me what is going to happen and where I may drive him and when. The same way that my husband used to think I would always know magically when he ran out of his soap or needed clean uniforms to wear, by the next day of course. I seem to be the only one who keeps a running tally on when toilet paper is low or exactly how many slices of bread are left even though I am fairly certain these are a few of many shared products!

I spend my days taking care of a baby, trying to clean a house and get laundry done, making sure there is enough food to feed everyone as well as prepare it in a creative and delicious manner, be social enough through visits and phone calls to keep the friends I have, making effort to pay our bills -and on time no less, and getting enough exercise to be healthy and extend my lifespan. Wait.....what?? So of course it is partially my own fault. I make it easy for them to have it easy. Once in a while I feel unappreciated for various reasons, try to bite my tongue, and inevitably end up having a major mommy meltdown. The "thank you's" and hugs pick up again and I happily go back to my overindulgent and loving ways.

But do you know what? I do it too. Taking things and people for granted. We all do.

The reason this has been on my mind lately is because my son has really been making a conscientious effort to be more appreciative of me. He is a sweet kid and he does know what my days are like and that I'm often tired and worn out. He is aware that he does not possess teleportation powers and is driven to the many places he needs to get to. He has been thanking me very frequently and specifically for whatever I have been doing for him. I have to admit, it is very nice to know that he cares so much to make the effort. That matters more to me than the actual thank you's. My husband and I learned how to appreciate each other a long time ago and still need reminders now and then when we get lazy.

I can honestly say that I am a very thankful person. I have been through dark times where there did not seem like much to be thankful for and yet there always has been something to be thankful for. It is a daily practice of mine to speak anything that I am thankful for all day long, whether it is to God or to another person. It can be a flurry of bluebirds at the park that makes me smile, my daughter laughing and dancing, the love my husband shows me by sending me a message or a phone call from work, the food I get to eat whenever I am hungry, money that comes just in time when things are tight financially, health problems that have healed, friends that make me laugh or call just as I'm about to cry, it can be ANYTHING!!! That is the point.

How many of us practice being thankful when things are good? So many of us just coast along with the easygoing coworker or boss until there is a problem or someone joins the office that gives us reason to complain. Do we typically take our families and loved ones for granted because they are always there for us no matter what we do or what sacrifices they are making on our behalf? Do we ignore God for all the blessings in our life until a crisis forces us to our knees and all of a sudden we are admitting a higher power because we need one?

Listen, I am not "Mary Sunshine" all the time. I get annoyed at closet doors that fall off every time I open them. I have days where my beautiful, healthy, smart, little girl drives me to the brink of insanity with teething and mood swings. I get annoyed with my husband, son, family, friends and think of being alone on an island if only for a few days. Sometimes I have road rage in traffic and get impatient in the store lines. I am a human being.
But then, something will make me smile like a sunset, a baby laughing, or an old couple holding hands. I may see something that makes me cry like a commercial about world hunger or a little child coming out of the cancer ward at a hospital. There is always something to bring me back around to the reality of just how blessed I am and how much there is to be thankful for.

When you start to make the effort to be thankful for every little thing and person in your life, you end up with a whole lot of blessing. Give it a try- learn to truly appreciate all that is taken for granted!