"Yeah, but you never get me anything fun!" My daughter and I had just finished showing her daddy the back-to-school items we purchased earlier that day on our shopping trip. I was so pleased as it was the first time in her life I have able to take her for some of the immediate school needs, and not have to worry accordingly about not having money for the bills due. I stared at her, after slowly turning around to look at her after such a statement, and asked her to repeat herself. My feisty little human charge did just as I asked, and told me that while I had indeed purchased her some items, none of it was fun, and apparently, therefore not very pleasing to her. Oh, well excuse me! I pointed out that her daddy had to work for several hours to cover the cost of the items I had purchased her, and that she had better say thank you to him for never caring how many hours he had to work to provide for us. Then I suggested that perhaps I should take a walk through the house and collect the many "fun" items I had indeed purchased for her over time.
representation of most of the inventory:
She decided she did not in fact want me to collect said purchased fun items, and we had yet another discussion about the importance of gratitude. My daughter is truly one of the most grateful and loving people I know, but she still needs a reminder of how truly blessed she is from time to time. As I thought about this, I realized how true it is of my adult self as well.
I love the Dave Matthews Band. One of my favorite lyrics verse is about our attitude of gratitude.
So often we focus on the things we do not have in our lives, things we never got, opportunities we did not receive, or take, and what we desire from truly believing it will somehow make our lives better. Yet, we all have exactly what we need, and can only find contentment if we are grateful for it. I can focus on my problems, and rue the roads I never traveled on my journey; or, I can be in the moment, and appreciate where the roads I have traveled have brought me.
Sometimes I try to take a step back and look at myself, and my life, through what I imagine other people may see. Most people have no idea of the struggles I have endured, and therefore judge me based on their perception of my life. It used to bother me when people would imagine me, or my life, as anywhere near perfect, but now I try to view it as a compliment.
People judge us based on what we choose to share with them. Nobody ever has the full story on anyone else's life. We look at pictures, listen to carefully edited stories, or attend precisely planned events, and then compare ourselves accordingly. We are comparing ourselves to illusions though, the same as when we compare ourselves to pictures in a magazine, or celebrities on television; none of it is real. How often do we fall prey to this rat race of nonsense and shake our fists at life while saying, "You never get me anything fun!"?
We ignore our own highlight moments. Sure, we enjoy them in the moment and soak up the pleasure they give us, before turning around to complain about the next want. I have lost almost every valuable earthly possession I owned, and I could never have previously imagined losing, over the past few years. Somehow, it has been okay, and I have actually grown to realize how much I still have. What I have in my life that was unable to be lost to the storms of life, and the challenges of this world.
I may not be able to pay off my student loans, but nobody can take away what I have learned.
I may have had to part with my wedding rings, but not the husband who loves me, and who continues to fight alongside of me.
My children may have struggles, and often act out in hurtful ways, but I am shown they know I love them by believing I am a safe person to act out towards.
I have had to move many times and still do not have a house that I own, but I have always had a home, and it has been cozy and full of love.
I have had many health problems which have been chronic, and quite painful. I have not however, had any illness so severe that it has been obvious to anyone else. If anything, I have been questioned about my health, because I "look fine". I am grateful for struggles that while difficult to endure, have not been so horrible they are obvious to others.
I have had countless walking, and talking, and coffee dates, with good friends. I have helped create two really amazing human beings who I am proud, overall, to share with society. There have been weekend getaways, birthday and holiday celebrations, and social gatherings. I have struggled with my weight, because I always have plenty to eat. I have family and friends who love me, a beautiful home, clothes to wear, food to eat, and a ridiculous amount of first-world luxuries that a huge amount of the worldly population would die to have.
What is wanting anything else doing for me? Nothing.
What is being grateful for everything I do have doing for me? Everything.
Choose what you are focusing on, my dear friends, and readers. Choose gratitude as your attitude, and you will notice the difference in your life.
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